On weekdays, I was able to bury myself into work and forgot about the unhappiness for a moment. Yes, it'll only last for a short moment. But on weekends, I feel super lost.

Yes, I have become quite dependent on him. Usually, we will meet on weekends to spend time together. We will go shopping, exploring, watching movies etc...

Saturday, I went for a hair cut at the usual salon alone. After which, mummy finally came to look for me and we went to pray at the temple. We shopped randomly and just headed home shortly. I tried to message him, but nothing can help to make him happier. "Pushing won't help"... I shall give him more time, though it's quite torturing for me. I guess I deserve it for my own action and words.

Jealousy kills... and it has killed me but hope it doesn't kill this relationship. I have regretted...... I hope I have a chance to salvage it. I really hope.

Sunday, which is today, I don't dare to message him, as I don't wish to "force" him. And I don't wish to make thing even worse. I went to my niece's 2 years old birthday party, keeping myself occupied by playing with many little ones. Every smiles and laughters are so natural, truly from pure hearts. I love them all. I wish to be a child again. No worry, no grudge, no fear...

P.S. I miss him deeply... When will I receive those messages that say "Morning darling..." from him again? :(

Labels: just him