Everything happens for a reason, and I know I'm the cause of this everything that we are going through.

I know my mistake and is determined to change... I hope you can see it.

Spoken to some friends (experienced, elderly etc), they all think that I'm materialistic. Yes I agree with them and I know I should change this attitude. Money doesn't bring happiness. Rich people may not be happy. Maybe all these while, you may be just trying to "coax" me by saying that I'm not materialistic. Thank you for tolerating with me for so long. I deserved all the scoldings from them. Thank you for scolding me and waking me up.

I know I have been quite unreasonable, throwing tantrum at you. I sincerely apologize to you. I think back and realize all these, and how childish I was. I regret treating you that way... sorry.

People grow up, mindset changes, so do I? I have to say that I have always wanted to settle down with you (not because of all these things that are happening). You are the only one who make me feel this way, I swear. I also want a simple and happy life with you. But do I have a chance now? I don't know. Yes, I have never put in words saying that I wish to settle down with you, and now that I said, you may doubt about it. All I can say is that i mean it and believe me.

Now I truly understand the feeling of a friend... He once told me that he realized that heartache is not comparable to any other kind of pain, be it tattoo, injections etc. Yes, it is not comparable. All those pains are simply a moment of pain, physically pain. Heartache is ultimate, so painful that I have to hug my bear so tightly in hope to stop it. Nothing helps. “心病”还须“心药”医。
I only wish to be with you again. I'm changing be it my mindset, my attitude... I will be more sensible. hope you will see it.

P.S. 你会回到我身边吗？

Labels: just him