i'm feeling so ashamed of myself. i can't imagine what i did ytd. initially i was just supposed to meet sis to have dinner together n then go straight home. but due to my playfulness, i went drinking n clubbing with them. sis n i waited for them to end work n set off 2wards chocolate bar (cb). soon i found out tt there r a lot of new staffs n also found out from ah boy tt faris is no longer working there. with all the new staffs n changes, i felt so out of place, cb is no longer as familiar to me as it was in the past. somehow i miss tt big man, faris (as a fren), miss the time we chatted, the time he sang chinese songs n the time he teased me. guess tt i wldn't want to go to this unfamiliar place again. anw guess i drank too fast n too much ytd cos i ended up vomitting in the backalley, in the taxi n at hm. i even gave myself a tight slap in the taxi, i hate myself for being such a nuisance. back to what happened at cb...as i hate being forced to do stuffs which i dislike, quarrels broke out between sis n i, between dw n i. i 'm so sorry abt it. dw forced me to drink lemon juice n i kept shouting n pushing him away. sis wanted me to hold hand with him n i ended up shouting at her. i don't want to hold his hand cos 1stly i know tt he has feeling towards me n i don't want him to get the wrong meaning! 2ndly even though i was feeling tipsy, i still knew what i was doing, meaning i was still awake n i don't want to just anyhow hold any guys' hand.
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sis, do u understand? i don't mean to shout at u... i'm very sorry abt it~ :(
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haiz... i think i'm a bad gal in disguise...
anw dw has msged me to admit his liking towards me ytd night thru msg n i msged him to tell him tt i'm not the suitable type of gals for him n asked him not to think so much. but somehow he just can't understand what i want to bring across. 1stly, we haven't been talking much, so we surely don't understand each other. 2ndly, he is younger than by 1 yr. 3rdly, i think he is not the type of guys which i'm looking for. even though i know he is quite a nice guy... haiz what shd i do? somehow i don't really feel confortable talking to him, maybe he looked scary at least to me? or maybe cos he has confess his feeling which makes me afraid? i really don't know...