after answering a call, i realised tt i miss out sth in my previous post. in my previous post, i talked abt the "habit" of getting my way out... to add on, i will get my way out until no one realised my disappearance. for whatever reason, i gt the ability in doing this. i believe tt i can step into ur life smoothly, then i can also step out of ur life smoothly n definitely quietly without leaving any footprint behind, without leaving any footprint tt remind u of me when u r in ur happy n enjoyable world.
*~20th~* 20th... 20th... the date of the day when i was happy, as i have stepped into "our" happy n enjoyable world... it's also the date of the day when i was so upset tt i cried terribly for wks n still cried occasionally cos...cos tt was the day he left me. he entered my life on the 20th n left me with all the swt memories on the 20th... know what's today's date? 20th of jan, my mum's birthday... 20th~ upon knowing the date of the day, my tears flowed down once again. y is it like this? y is god playing this "joke" on me? y is it tt there is always sth unhappy, upset happening to me on the 19th n let me realise tt 20th is just a few hrs away? y? ytd i realised tt ade will soon or maybe has left me, left my life n today's 20th again. it's like i'm feeling sad once a mth, but as time flies so fast like taking a glimpse, i'm feeling down for most of the days in a mth... so how many happy day do i have? *haiz* i have just lost some1 so dear, as predicted by me earlier on... i guess sooner or later, i will lose another one again. *haiz* y is it tt most but not all of my predictions r coming true? i don't want to b a predictor tt predict so many sad occurence, but instead, i want to b a "happy occurence" predictor! can? can i?
*ohh ya* i gt sth to mention, tt is i dislike empty promises, broken promises, lies... at times, i may seem forgetful, but don't know y, maybe god knows, my memory can b (surprisely) quite gd at some thing! so ppl out there pls don't anyhow promise me anything cos in the end when u break it, u r hurting me. of course i won't let u know or realise it, so u will b hurting me without u knowing it... or maybe u will realise later, which will b hrs later? wks? mths? but whatever it is, it's too late...
but anw since today's mum's birthday, i must b happy or maybe i shall try n hopefully i'll succeed..."smile~ cos u r on candid camera!" *a smile being forced out*
