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About me ------------------------

♥ Madeline Chew
1st Jan 1986

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Sunday, May 09, 2004

at this very moment, tears keep flowing down uncontrollably... :( i think i fail to be a happy little gal... went out early in the morning to bishan park for the big walk briefing... it was rather boring... then went to junction 8 to shop for my pencil box (cos spoiled liao)... n this is where i started to have the feeling of being left out... they may think tt maybe i am tired tt'y i am so quiet... ya maybe they are right or maybe not... i am v.tired... simply tired of life n tired of being left out by them... i may be an attention seeker, but i don't expect them to give me full attention~ *really*... i just wish tt they don't neglect me... i tried to talk to them n they will just continue with their own topic n somehow neglect me... whenever i am being neglected, i feel sad... n the only thing i cld do is to watch them smile n laugh w/o knowing what is happening... glad tt they are happy but i am not... maybe it is cos i am stupid n tt's y i always don't understand what they are talking abt...*STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!* no one knows how i am feeling... so i decided to keep quiet, keep my feeling to myself... sometimes going out with them makes me feel tt i am alone... do u know what is the feeling of being alone, being neglected? i think one day my closest n beloved sis will be leaving me for others... of course i don't wish this will happen but i know tt i can't stop it from happening... it is one's decision tt i can't possibly interfere... time will nv stop for me... tears are on the verge of flowing out... so i decided to tell them tt i am going off... but ade said tt we shall go off together... n we took bus 55... i was keeping myself quiet throughout the entire bus journey... soon it was my turn to drop off... i said gd bye n stood at the door step... while waiting for the door to open, my tears just flowed out... usually i will turn ard to wave gd bye again once i got down the bus, but this time i didn't... cos tears are rolling down my cheeks...