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♥ Madeline Chew
1st Jan 1986

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Friday, April 30, 2004

long time nv update liao cos quite busy this few days...always went out to study with my kor n friends, then sometimes with him too, it was until v.late, so by the time i reached home will be v.tired... anw this few days happened quite a few things... (maybe going to talk abt some)
even since i knew him, i have been looking at him in sch, then whenever he saw me, he will give me a smile... always v.happy to see tt... however nv study with him for 2 to 3 days liao...cos heard tt he was having training, competition is coming, so he is tired to come out... then ytd don't know y he was absent from sch, so no chance to see him... *so sad~ don't know what happened to him... guess tt he was just simply tired..* then finally today was able to see him during common yr2 break, so happy... the feeling was like i have not seen him for a long time! however he nv see me so nv smile to me... :( *now just hope tt we will be able to go out to study one of this wkends~*
now let's not talk abt him liao.. now abt one other thing... it is between me n sarah... haiz... don't know y sometimes i feel so left out by them, i think esp by sarah... sarah n ade got a lot of things to chat abt while i don't have (with sarah)... sometimes maybe in some of the ways she treats me, i felt tt she just dislikes me... i told ade abt this a few days ago n she doesn't believe until she sees it for herself... tt day after i told ade, i appeared to be so angry but actually i was not... i was just sad n was abt to cry... i was just trying to use anger to cover my sadness... sad cos i hate to lose a gd friend... the feeling of being left out by friends is not gd... i will nv forget what had happened during my sec 5 life, an incident or maybe misunderstanding tt almost caused me to lose 3 friends... (haiz not going to talk abt it cos long story)... having this unpleasant feeling, i even told ade tt if one day, it happens tt i found out tt she really hates me to core, i shall leave the grp... cos i feel tt if she really hates me, i wld rather left the grp n her than to make her hate me even more... staying in the grp will just cause more unhappiness... *hope tt it will not happen one day...*
then today i decided to tell ps abt it n see what is her opinion... she said tt it is just her character... she is borned like this...she maybe be dao sometimes n one's mood can swing anytime... i think ps is right... so i think it is just tt i am too sensitive... so i shall not think abt it again (i will try)... i must rmb tt i want to be a happy little gal~!!!