#~a GrEaT dIsApPoInTmEnT~#
just got back my phy paper today...at first i expect to get a "C", a "real" pass...but i didn't...only able to get 35 upon 75...i really thought tt i cld get at least a pass for it but no...*still dreaming la...how it is possible for such a lousy person to score well? stop dreaming, n go back to reality~* didn't want to cry in front of the class, so try to control my tears but in the end, i still burst into tears...this time it was a terrible one...almost vomit...haiz...it was a great disappointment to me...i...haiz...ade, xt, mk, nat, cecilia n ps tried to console me, but their efforts were in vain...a lot of things came across my mind...i asked myself: "y am i here? i am a normal stream student. jc is a place for express students, not u!* as i was crying, the things tt he wrote in the letter the last time came to my mind too: "when u r sad, think of those who will be sad cos of u. when u think u r lousy, think of those who scored even lower, n u r already not bad..." however i still can't stop my tears...then more thoughts came...i imagined myself throwing away all the things, n it was a relief..."I DON'T WANT TO STUDY!!! DON'T WANT!!! after staring at my phy paper for a while, i took it up n threw it onto the floor...after crying for quite a long time, finally stopped...then ade told me a lot of things, n now i am still thinking abt it...
after sch, acc ade to heartland...have a very long chat -> ard 2hrs...chatted abt her things n mine...then went to check out the hp tt i want...when to buy tu-tu kuek...we shared... we were standing just beside the bus stop, n i think we looked very cute eating there..but who cares...while eating, a thought came across my mind again: "if i don't study, on one hand it will be a relief, n on the other, i can go work n earn more money n can buy ex. hp." *wow not a bad idea~* told ade this, n kana scolding...she said this to me: "w/o a A level cert., u won't be able to find a well-paid job...n we only left a few more months to A level. do u think giving up is the only way?" ya she is right but haiz... i asked myself: "will i be able to make it thru A level?"...i don't dare to think too much abt it...=(

quote of the day (told by ade): the more setbacks you experienced, the better person you will be.