!-MaDeL iN tHe LoSt WoRlD-!
haiz this morning wanted to wake up at 5.30am to continue studying my maths complex no...but was unable to wake up, only woke up at 6.30...then when i was in sch, i was so down, don't know for what reason...then i felt so xin ku, i was not my usually self! my head n heart were full of things tt i wished tt i cld throw out...but i can't...during phy lect, with tt lecturer, i was even more pek cek cos he was like "adding fuels" to my frustration~! he was using GREEN colour marker n yet he still wrote so small...he tot tt we ppl at the back can see izzit...one more thing, he was going thru so fast! *wa lao* i was so frustrated tt i felt like throwing my pen down at him...
then during kwang's tutorial period, i was still so xin ku n with the unbearable pain inside me, tears finally flowed out of my eyes...i sat there on the chair like a zombie, staring in the blank for quite a time n i still don't know what i am purposed to do...until ade called me n asked me to go down to have my lunch first while she waited for hong boon, then i knew tt i was sitting there waiting for her...after lunch, i went to sit for my math lect test 2, once again i started to tense up...but this time i was able to calm myself down for just a while, n started doing it...haiz finally i finished it...*NO~! actually it was time up...* n i knew tt i was going to fail it again...at tt very moment, it seemed like there were 2 little things right inside my head, they were the DEVIL n the ANGEL!

devil: "such an useless bum like u shd not continuing staying in this sch...*stop n think for a while*...NO! NO! i shd say tt there is no place for u in this world!"

angel: "NO! NO! don't listen to the devil~! u r not useless...u have already go thru 3 quarter of ur journey in jc, so don't give up! try harder n u will make it!"

devil: "aiya if u continue like this, u r just wasting ur time n money!"

angel: "who's says? if u try harder, n finally make it to the end, u will be able to earn even more."

at tt moment, the incident tt happened ytd came to my mind... it was like this: there was this sec 3 boy who committing suicide. when he was in sec 1, he was with this girl n cos of his parents' objection, they broke off...n once again now in sec 3 when they are in the same class, their love for each other grow, n they are once again together...this relationship is then being found out by his teacher, n his teacher had reported to his parents...maybe cos of the fear of the objection to their relationship, he jumped don from a block of flat tt is opp his sch...
as i think of this incident, i rmb what i said ytd, i said tt this boy is being foolish to commit suicide, n so i asked myself: "is it foolish of me to quit sch or even commit suicide?" till now i am still thinking...can any1 pls tell me an ans to this qns? :(